i HATE xmaz

ok my title just said it all..... i really HATE xmaz

wow...

my mind is going in so manny directions.... birthdays christmas semesters visiting ect....... im going crazy!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!!!!!!

this year is going so flipping fast!!! KAN YOU BELIEVE THAT CHRISTMAS IS ALREADY NEXT WEEK!!! and omg i am so sad..... :'( but anywho i might get to c my bf on wednesday.... kant thursday cuz its chritmas eve and friday is christmas.....anyway my emotions are wackey bye bye

:'(

i called and noone answered and i never got a call back.... i hope nothing is wrong.... i hope nothing happened yesterday......... im sad i wish i knew wat was going on.

i'z iz super dooper sad face:(

i have semester test comeing up and the hardest of them all is probably going to be eather spanish or basic woods.... i think spanish is going to be the hardest...... i have to take semesters for just about every class world geography math speech art spanish physical science there is no smester test for study hall if there wer that would be retarted and basic woods. i am haveing a bad day today i couldnt even remember how to spell super! how stupid am i????? then i couldnt get my sucker open and i am just retarded... im so flipping retarded i couldnt even spell retarded right...

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm

i know i havent posted anything in a while cuz i am so bussy and i dont have wierless at my house so i kant do it over the weekend but anyways i am so flipping bored right now........uugggggg i am so flipping boared right now and i dont know wat to post about.... i mean i have alot of things on my mind but i kant say them cuz i dont have the right to
LOLA BUNNY

>:(

i am so fucking pissed off right now! people keep sending me emails telling me not to involve them in a fucking fight between me and my ex. and im nawt fucking involving them its my fucking ex that is emailing them and involving them and it is pissing me off. then i have fucking retards texting me and bothering me asking me to do stuff i don't want to fucking do and uggggg. and my sister (best friend in the world) got into an accident and i hope she gets better soon!

BUT PEOPLE NEED TO LEAVE ME ALONE IF THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING INTELLIGIBLE TO SAY TO ME!!!!!!

music

i am working on a play list of some of my favorite songs and new songs and whatnot. so if any one knows any good music or wants to give me an idea of there favorite songs or something that would be really kewl.

:)super happy face(:

i'z iz super hapy face now. i got to talk to my bf for most of yesterday.... i get to talk to him longer 2day cuz its an early out. i was thinking about calling sometime durring the night but i didnt know if his parents would get pissed if i called that late. yeah i dont know.... hopefully i get my homework done so i get to talk to him longer. OMG WE ONLY HAVE 2WEEKS FROM 2DAY TILL CHRISTMAS BREAK..... then i get to talk to him even longer durring the day!!!!! damn but that also means that i have semester tests comeing up. son of a bitch!!! i dont want to take semesters. OOOOOO I MIGHT GET TO C MY BOYFRIEND THIS WEEKEND AGAIN ALSO!! i only have to ask one of my friends for a ride and get an answer from my parents! hopefullly i kan go i kant wait......
ps. imma put a picture on later cuz i kant now.

:(super sad face):

last saturday was more dreamlike than a few weeks ago it was so undescribeable. then it was followed by one of the worst. all i had to do on sunday was just sit and read and do chores. my phone bairly rang once and when it did it was my sister that called me. i had to go all day without hearing his voice. it was pure agonizeing torture. i called him around one in the afternoon and his mom said that he was at something(i dont remember what though.) and i never got a call back. i waited all day and nothing. i dont know why but i had some strange sence of hope that he would call sometime durring the night just to say hi.... but he didnt. this sux........ now today is going to be horrible. im probably overexagerateing this but i dont kare. i miss him, and the sound of his voice.

The Most Romantic Rose

the black rose is the most romantic rose. it is also my favorite rose. it is sayed that the first black rose was traditionally a white one died with bats blood to get the unique black color of it. it was given to loved ones as a sighn of the depest love. but some portray the rose as something compleatly opposite of what it means. some people see the black rose as i sighn of death mourning or grievence. most people think that if you give a black rose to someone that eather means you want them dead or they are grieveing for lost loved one.
but for me i see the black rose for its true meaning and what it is supposed to stand for. i see it as the deepest love someone could have for another. although black roses are very rare and very expencive (if you kan find them). i think black roses wer ment for some higher perpose that some people just dont comprehend. like love.
love was given to us not for us to take advantage of it and to tear it to shreads in another in the prosses of breaking there hearts. i think that a broken heart is well mended when you find that one true somebody that you belong with. then ur broken heart heals like it was never broken in the first place and you go right on loveing the person you should have lovein the first place.
but most things happen for a reason even if we dont want them to. i think that the meaning behind the black rose is far more complex than anyone gives it credit for. well i think i better post this post b4 i get even farther off track


Blood.Hate.Love.Tears&Warmth

Blood.Hate.Love.Tears&Warmth

there are reasons why i added warmth to my headding is because i cant wait to be rapped in the warm arms of my boyfriend. being in his arms make me feel safe, like all my worries melt away, like i dont need to fear anymore. i hope that tomarrow comes fast, i cant deal with this anymore. getting told to go kill myself, recieveing threats that imma get the shit beat out of me, getting told by some of my friends that everyone is spreading rumors saying that im talking shit about everyone. i dont talk shit to try and avoid it but apperantly im just the ugly retarted outcast. (according to practicly everyone i know.) only one person seems to think otherwise and i dont c how he kan think that way and how he can love me i just dont c how anyone could ever think of me other than ugly & stupid.... i just dont c it. but who am i to try and change anyones judgement. noone ever listens to me and always thinks im lieing so i finnaly decited to just give up. theres no point in trying anymore.

Blood.Hate.Love.Tears&Warmth

Blood.Hate.Love&Tears

im going to put this all behind me and try to start out fresh. 4get all about my bad past. imma stop posting about it also cuz im sure noone wants to hear about it anyways and well nothing ever gets solved.
imma put some lyrics to a song that i have stuck in my head just to get them out.
...................................................................................................................................................................
if i could grant you one wish ide wish you could c the way you kiss. oooo i love watching you babe when ur driveing me ooh crazy.
ooo i love the way you love the way you love theres nowhere elce ide rather be ooh to feel the way i feel with ur arms around me i only wish that you could see you the way you love me.
its not right its not fair what ur missing over there someday ill find a way to show you just how luckey i am to know you
oo i love the way you love the way you love me theres nowhere elce ide rather be ooh to feel the way i feel with ur arms around me i only wish that you could see you the way you love me (wowowo the way you love me)
theres a million reasons why theres love reflecting in my eyes
ooh i love the way you love the way you love me theres nowhere elce ide rather be ooh to feel the way i feel with ur arms around me i only wish that you could see you the way you love me
(wowowo the way you love me)
(wowowo the way you love me)
(wowowo the way you love me)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i heard that on the radio durring basic woods class and now i kant get it out of my head. i think it is stuck there permanatly........ but who really kares... hmmmmmmmmmmm.... i dont know wat to talk about that song got my mind off track.. curse you song lyrics

Blood.Hate.Love&Tears.

i dont know wat to do anymore. one thing ended horrible (it was for the better though) another started beautifully and now the one still knows my number and his friends wont leave me alone. it makes me afraid to go onto my email and afraid to look at me phone. i dont know wat to do anymore. this is so frustrateing.... this morning i got a threat from one of his friends saying he was going to kick my ass. honesty i dont care im not going to fight back im just gunna let it happen. i dont have to proove i can fight one of his friends he is picking a fight with me then dragging other people into it cuz he is a fucking chicken. he hides behind people. he sarts shit then hides. but we. and i cant verywell tell some of my friends cuz theyll just think im starting drama and get pissy at me but w.e i mean who kares if i get the liveing shit beat out of me anyways. i certainly dont care.
Blood.Hate.Love&Tears